Sex Is Running the Room. We Just Won’t Admit It.
On sexual literacy, power, decision-making, and why unmanaged desire destabilizes men, institutions, and politics.
Desire is one of the most powerful forces shaping human behavior, and yet we treat it like a guilty secret—something to indulge quietly, joke about nervously, or pretend doesn’t influence serious decisions. That contradiction has always fascinated me, especially in American culture, where sex is everywhere and understanding it is nowhere.
We are saturated with sexual imagery and starved of sexual literacy. We refuse to talk honestly about desire, refuse to educate people about how it operates, and then act surprised when it destabilizes relationships, careers, and entire institutions. We pretend sex is personal when it is clearly political. We pretend it is indulgent when it is strategic.
I didn’t learn this from theory. I learned it from watching power up close.
There are entire industries built on understanding how desire affects decision-making. I know this because companies paid me very well to exploit those vulnerabilities without ever naming them. Desire makes people sloppy. It fractures judgment. It narrows time horizons. It introduces urgency where patience is required. A powerful man pursuing a younger woman is not thinking clearly, and everyone in the room knows it—even if no one says it out loud.
Private equity firms understand this. Political operatives understand this. Intelligence agencies understand this. They know when desire is a distraction and when it can be sharpened into focus. They know when a person is hungry—emotionally, sexually, psychologically—and therefore easier to manipulate.
What most people refuse to admit is that desire can also be disciplined.
I know for a fact that my partner makes better decisions when he is satisfied across the dimensions that matter. When he is well-fed. When he is rested. When he is emotionally anchored. When he is sexually fulfilled. These are not indulgences; they are infrastructure. Two of those domains—emotional and sexual—are spaces where I have unique influence, not because I own him, but because intimacy creates alignment.
That alignment is intentional.
I stepped away from corporate life in part because I wanted to be present—not out of insecurity, but out of strategy. I don’t want the man I love moving through the world depleted, distracted, or lonely. Not because I’m afraid of what he might do without me, but because I care about who he becomes when he’s at his best. I don’t waste a single ounce of energy worrying about infidelity. If someone wants to betray you, they will. Anxiety doesn’t prevent that. Clarity does.
Desire unmanaged doesn’t disappear. It leaks. It metastasizes. It turns into resentment, projection, cruelty. You see it most clearly in men who harass women online. No man who is well-fed, well-loved, and well-fucked spends his time stalking strangers on the internet. That behavior is not dominance; it’s deprivation.
A good portion of those men are virgins. Others haven’t experienced intimacy in so long they’ve forgotten what it feels like to be wanted. Instead of dealing with that reality, they turn outward. They perform hatred. They mistake aggression for power. They confuse attention with intimacy.
I refuse to indulge that confusion.
Part of my self-appointed mission is to call it out plainly—because I can, because I want to, and because someone has to. Desire denied doesn’t make people moral. It makes them dangerous. Desire disciplined, on the other hand, makes people steady. Clear. Capable of long-term thinking.
This is what terrifies people about powerful women who understand desire. Not that we want sex—but that we understand what it does. That we know when to withhold it, when to offer it, and when to walk away entirely. That we refuse to pretend it isn’t shaping the room.
I’ve learned you can’t change people. You can only adapt. You learn when to soften your edges for insecure men. You learn when to let the real version of yourself breathe. You learn when desire is a lever and when it’s a liability.
That’s not manipulation. That’s literacy.
Desire is not chaos. It is a force. Like any force, it can be weaponized, ignored, or mastered. I chose mastery.
Monica Craiyon
Creator, Powerhouse Novelas | Erotic Power Fiction
Powerhouse Novelas is erotic power fiction—stories of devotion, dominance, restraint, obsession, and consequence. These are intimate economies of desire where consent is deliberate, pleasure is intentional, and power is never neutral.
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